Ask Zaizen!
by Raf Kowalski
Summary: Having problems? Be curious of something? Or just killing boredom? Ask Zaizen! He will answer your questions and... leave you in confusion. Let's pray that all characters of PoT don't have intention to take a revenge and burn him down.
1. Seigaku

**It hit me after reading EcstaticPetenshi's fanfic, Aruhi no Oshitari (thank you so much, EP!) that Zaizen is absobloodylutely an interesting person. Yes, he's awesome, handsome, but one important thing: he can't keep his mouth. Then the idea came 10 hours later :P**

**Sooo why Zaizen? Beside what I have mentioned above, it is simply because he's my favorite chara on PoT XD and he's a blogger, probably hacker too :D**

**I don't know how to make a good crackfic but I hope it gives you stitches on your tummy or at least makes you LOL.**

**Anyhoo, Tenipuri Omegle is still continued.**

* * *

**Ask Zaizen!**

_Ask Zaizen! is an application on Zaizen's blog where you can ask anything to him. Type your name and your question, and then he will answer it, well, if he wants to._

INTRO

Hello, fellas. Zaizen's here. I made this because I was bored. That's it.

Take note: I am not Dr. Phil. Don't expect me to solve your problem properly, but if you follow my advice, you'll see that it totally works.

* * *

**Seigaku**

**Q:**

Ryuuzaki Sakuno

Ummm… what should I do if a person I am interested in doesn't pay attention to me? I'm waiting for your answer. Thank you.

**A:**

Here is my answer. Kick him in the head so he will realize. Make sure he isn't wearing his cap to make greater effect. But if you don't have guts to do that, just let him go. He's not the only one guy who lives in this earth.

* * *

**Q:**

Kawamura Takashi

I have a crush, she's my classmate. We are good friends and often belong to the same study group. I am sure she's single, and I think I want to confess this feeling to her. The problem is, I am too shy and get nervous easily, and I am afraid of rejection. I am also worry that we won't be friends anymore and become awkward after I ask her to go out. Please help me!

**A:**

Grab your racquet. Good luck.

* * *

**Q:**

Kato Kachiro

You're so cool!

**A:**

Yeah, I am.

* * *

**Q:**

Ooishi Syuuichiro

Suppose that I have a friend who has ESTJ personality while I am an INFP. How am I supposed to behave? Because our personalities are totally different, and strangely we get along well, but sometimes there are times when he really doesn't get me and he starts to be mad at me because he thinks I don't understand him, but beside that we're very best friends.

**A:**

So what do you worry? He's still your friend, right? Tsk. You're wasting my time.

* * *

**Q:**

Tezuka Kunimitsu

The objective function minimum value x 3y which satisfy the equivalents 3x 2y 12, x 2y 8, x y 8, x 0 is…

**A:**

Eight. I don't have to explain, I am a genius after all.

* * *

**Q:**

Osakada Tomoka

I know I love him, and I know my friend loves him as well. But! Somehow, there's another guy who always annoys me, and I don't know how come I start to like him! On the other hand, I don't want to compete with my own BFF. Who is the boy I like actually? I'm in dilemma! Help!

**A:**

Hahahahahahaha, girls. Their hormones work so fast.

* * *

**Q:**

Horio Satoshi

Why people always doubt my two years experience?

**A:**

Who the heck will believe it, anyway?

* * *

**Q:**

Echizen Ryoma

Why are you so cocky?

**A:**

As if you're not.

* * *

**Q:**

Kikumaru Eiji

Nya! I have a problem with homework and Fujiko! Fujiko said that now I have to do my homework ALONE, and stop looking at his! I think Fujiko is sick of me and wants me to do those freaking assignments on my own… what should I do? I don't want to be his enemy but I can't do my homework by myself! XO

**A:**

It's your fault to be stupid. Pay attention when teachers lecture the class and stop doing acrobatic all the time.

* * *

**Q:**

Mizuno Katsuo

What is the best way to be tennis pro? Because I have practiced a lot and I still can't beat Echizen :(

**A:**

You can't beat Echizen because his father is The Samurai and he donates his tennis genes to his child. So, if you want to beat Echizen, your mother must be Echizen Nanjiro's wife.

* * *

**Q:**

Kaidou Kaoru

I hate your teammates, those baka gays. Especially Koharu.

**A:**

Tell him. Not me.

* * *

**Q:**

Shusuke Fuji

I heard you hate classic literature, but English is your forte. So, why do thou loathe it?

**A:**

Cuz i fink itz boring n i dun lyk shakespeare. hes a copycater, dun ya noe dat?

* * *

**Q:**

Momoshiro Takeshi

Chips?

**A:**

Yeah, thanks.

* * *

**Q:**

Inui Sadaharu

Juice?

**A:**

Err… no. Thank you.

* * *

**Tezuka's question was taken from my high school's math book, wahaha. And eight is the right answer.**

**I'm not really sure that Ooishi's personality type is INFP, but he looks like one :D**

**By the way, this app is kind of formspring. The difference is that this is made by Zaizen himself and is part of his blog, not an independent account.**

**Q:**

**Readers**

**How did he make it?**

**A:**

**Author**

**How should I know?**

**XP**

**After reading this (and Tenipuri Omegle and/or Zaizen's Blog) maybe you'll start thinking that I'm very random person and like to write random story that's hella true. So, care to drop your random reviews?)**


	2. Hyoutei

**Whoa! Thank you so much for the review, alert, and favorite thingy to this fic. Sorry I couldn't update soon, blame my timetable *sighs***

**Let's spread Zaizen's love! 8D**

**Grrr. I forget putting the disclaimer. But if I own Zaizen cs, it isn't called fanfiction, right?**

**Enjoy. Or not. XP**

* * *

**Ask Zaizen!**

_Ask Zaizen! is an application on Zaizen's blog where you can ask anything to him. Type your name and your question, and then he will answer it, well, if he wants to._

Okay, so I am not Sigmund Freud or Jean Piaget or whoever psychologist that Child Development book mentions, or even my sister-in-law. But still, if you do what I say, you will suffer from rare disease which no doctors and scientists have any idea about it and you have no cure and you will be banished to a remote island and I think I should stop rambling now.

* * *

**Hyoutei**

**Q:**

Oshitari Yuushi

For today… should I pick Sakura, Riku, Ozawa Maria, or Natalie Portman?

**A:**

Lord Voldemort. Whatever the names, your glasses look the same.

* * *

**Q:**

Shishido Ryou

Well, Imma fucking bored to death. Any idea to kill time? Jamming together, perhaps? I heard you're good at composing music.

**A:**

I know. Buy hair tonic to grow your hair back. Or wash your hat before fungi invade it. I won't jam with someone whose scalp is covered by dandruff.

* * *

**Q:**

Atobe Keigo

Ore-sama has no problem. Everything is okay as long as Ore-sama's here! Ore-sama no bigi ni yoi na!

**A:**

Right, Kabaji?

* * *

**Q:**

Kabaji Munehiro

Usu

**A:**

Good boy. That Oreo-sama will be proud of you.

* * *

**Q:**

Ootori Choutarou

Minna-san, our world is in danger. Starvation, war, and natural disasters happen like no end. There are many people—our brothers and sisters—live with fear and anxiety. They can't sleep well because they worry they can't get up in the morning. They don't even know what to eat today! Please think even if just a moment about those who lost their family members, those who live on the street, and those who don't get a chance to school. They need miracle, they need us. So, let's start giving and caring for a better world. We all can make a change if we are united! Share your empathy and bring world peace to reality ^_^

**A:**

Amen.

* * *

**Q:**

Hiyoshi Wakashi

Who are you?

**A:**

I'm Spider-Man.

* * *

**Q:**

Akutagawa Jirou

Whaaa! You're a tensai too, Zaizen-kun? There are four tensais in Japan, then! You, Fuji-san, Marui-san and Oshitari! Sugeee~! XD

**A:**

Correction; a tensai isn't silently sadist, sugar addict, or megane maniac. A tensai should have no freaky disorder. So, yeah, there is only one tensai: me, Zaizen Hikaru. That's it, Akutagawa-san.

* * *

**Q:**

Mukahi Gakuto

HELLO, MY NAME IS MURAYUKI ICHISEI. I HAVE SUFFERED FROM GUILLAIN-BARRE SYNDROME AND OFTEN MISTAKEN FOR A GIRL. ONE DAY, A CONCEITED BRAT BEAT ME IN TENNIS AND HE MADE ME FREAKISHLY MAD. IF YOU DON'T POST THIS IN 10 MINUTES ON YOUR BLOG, YOUR SENSES WILL BE NUMB AND BAD LUCK ALWAYS TRAILS AFTER YOU. BUT IF YOU POST IT IMMEDIATELY, YOU WILL BE GUARDED AND BLESSED BY KAMI NO KO. THIS IS FOR REAL, NO JOKE. POST IT OR SOMETHING BAD HAPPENS TO YOU.

**A:**

HELLO, MY NAME IS MURAYUKI ICHISEI. I HAVE SUFFERED FROM GUILLAIN-BARRE SYNDROME AND OFTEN MISTAKEN FOR A GIRL. ONE DAY, A CONCEITED BRAT BEAT ME IN TENNIS AND HE MADE ME FREAKISHLY MAD. IF YOU DON'T POST THIS IN 10 MINUTES ON YOUR BLOG, YOUR SENSES WILL BE NUMB AND BAD LUCK ALWAYS TRAILS AFTER YOU. BUT IF YOU POST IT IMMEDIATELY, YOU WILL BE GUARDED AND BLESSED BY KAMI NO KO. THIS IS FOR REAL, NO JOKE. POST IT OR SOMETHING BAD HAPPENS TO YOU.

Satisfied?

* * *

**Q:**

Taki Haginosuke

What's wrong with me actually? Why am I not included in Regulars? I play so much better than THAT Shishido bastard and I am kicked out. This is NOT FAIR! I WANT JUSTICE!

**A:**

Umm… I don't have Justice but I have Justin Barbie's song—actually that's Kenya-senpai's but he copied it to my laptop. Find someone who has what you want, sorry.

* * *

**Ootori's question somehow reminds me of We Are The World and Heal The World song -_-**

**Zaizen Hikaru Tobey McGuire :P**

**REVIEW THIS IF YOU WANNA WATCH HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS PART 1 VERY SOON XDD**


	3. Rikkai Dai

**So, me is back bringing you new chapter and hope you still bear with me for my procrastination. Anyone knows how to get rid of it? Please? OwO**

**The Zuperamazing Zaizen and his friends/enemies are Konomi Takeshi's. I'm just playing around with them :D**

**Special thanks to reviewers, subscribers, favoriters, and readers who made my day! May this made-up blog fic make yours too, even though just a bit.**

* * *

**Ask Zaizen!**

_Ask Zaizen! is an application on Zaizen's blog where you can ask anything to him. Type your name and your question, and then he will answer it, well, if he wants to._

… I don't have to warn you again, right? You know the rule.

I hate when my nephew wins over me at playing Play Station or Xbox. What? Want this punch digging a hole on your face?

* * *

**Rikkai Dai**

**Q:**

Yukimura Seiichi

How does it feel to be under Oshitari Kenya's shadow, your own partner in doubles? :)

**A:**

Better than to be a Child of God who paints naked people.

* * *

**Q:**

Kuwahara Jackal

Everybody knows that Brazil is known by its glorious team of soccer. They have won World Cup 5 times and got super talented, legendary footballers. It seems that soccer runs through Brazilians' veins. But why am I not? Many people asked me that, and it triggered me to think of where I get this tennis skill. Please tell me your opinion. Thanks.

**A:**

Take a look at your father and mother, do they look like you? Which part of them do you have? Is it many or just a few? Well, I hate to tell you this but who knows you're SOMEBODY ELSE's child… and… do you want me to continue?

* * *

**Q:**

Yanagi Renji

According to my data, 99.998% of questions asked are replied when you are online. I despise the fact that your blog has more data gossips than my notebook.

**A:**

You know what? This is 21st century, man! Everything is on the net now. And thanks for telling me your useless data. Google is more accurate.

* * *

**Q:**

Kirihara Akaya

Please teach me English! Yagyuu-senpai now is hard to identify whether he's Niou-senpai in disguise or not! It confuses me! Last time I was taught by 'Yagyuu-senpai', I got F for mid exam! S.O.S!

**A:**

Who the hell do you think I am? An English private teacher for free? But if you want it so badly, use Google Translate (See, Yanagi-san? It even understands 40 languages) from your PSP. Just be aware that the teacher will see you cheating.

* * *

**Q:**

Marui Bunta

Is it true that sweets make you fat and diabetes? Okay, I actually have been showed the proof by Yanagi and Yagyuu, but I still can't believe it! I mean, how come sugary, heavenly stuffs like cakes, candies, and chocolates become so deathly! It's so impossible, isn't it? And illogical! (I'm sorry, Yanagi. At least to me it is). And IF it's true, how am I supposed to do? How do I avoid those melting creams, dripping caramels, strawber—those all! I'm going to die if I don't eat sweets just a day!

**A:**

Firstly, it is true that YOU'RE FAT and potentially being diabetic. Secondly, it is absolutely a shame for proclaiming yourself a tensai, because you're idiot enough not to accept the truth. My suggestion: diet. Or you'll really be 'death by chocolate'. Hope it helps.

Comment:

You don't answer my question!

* * *

**Q:**

Yagyuu Hiroshi

Hmmm… sorry. I have nothing to ask.

**A:**

Then why are you here?

* * *

**Q:**

Niou Masaharu

Sometimes I feel like having identity crisis. Puri.

**A:**

Wow, that's a new fact. I'm gonna post it on my blog. *whistles*

* * *

**Q:**

Sanada Genichirou

Last night I couldn't sleep because my mind was always thinking about tennis. I've tried to count sheep, but Nationals was shadowing me in front of my eyes. I have to win. My team HAS to win. We will win three times in a row, breaking the record. I just wanted to slap people, kick their asses and shout 'tarundoru' out loud, but I knew it was already late. I'm just not over this.

**A:**

Try to take sleeping pill. By the way, did Yagyuu-san type the question for you? Since you are technologically idi—forget it.

* * *

**To tell the truth, I actually almost missed Jackal here x( sorry…**

**And yeah, everybody now must subscribe Zaizen's blog to get more interesting facts, not depending on Yanagi's data anymore.**

**(Yanagi: growing mushroom in the corner) XD**

**Who's craving death by chocolate? Review and buy it at the nearest pastry shop!**


	4. Shitenhouji

**Happy Mother's Day in Indonesia, Happy Exams Week, Happy Eat Your Veggies Day and Happy Birthday, whoever-was-born-today!**

**Now, I present you the 'autism' of Shiten-hou-hou-hou-ji! XDD Well, for those who wait for this for soooo long, here it is! Taa-daa!**

**Reader: ... *SFX: sound of passing winds***

**(I'm bad at opening a story, aren't I? *sighs*)**

* * *

**Ask Zaizen!**

_Ask Zaizen! is an application on Zaizen's blog where you can ask anything to him. Type your name and your question, and then he will answer it, well, if he wants to._

Today's exam did totally suck… Curse to whoever made that shit T_T

Gaaaaaaaaaah. I'm very screwed now. (Dear fucking classic literature, if only you are a human being and happen to be a boy, I kill you with my own hand—cut your neck, rip your heart, do like every slasher scenes on SAW movies. Seriously.)

* * *

**Shitenhouji**

**Q:**

Shiraishi Kuranosuke

Hey, Zaizen. You know, I am busy like hell as a captain, must do this and that. And unfortunately, I spent lot of money for that. For example, our bus and train fees to Tokyo, our lunches, tickets to stadium for non regulars and followers… and sadly, THE COACH DOESN'T WANT TO REPAY IT! Now I can't even buy mineral water! You know what I mean, heh, Zaizen? At least, borrow me some money to eat and drink…

**A:**

Just sell your golden gauntlet, buchou. Now you know why kantoku gave you that.

* * *

**Q:**

Oshitari Kenya

This is ridiculous, Zaizen! You, an advisor? ROFLMAO! Now what should I type, hmmm, oh, yes. DELETE YOUR POST ABOUT ME BEING SPEED FREAK!

**A:**

That's not even a question, senpai. No, I won't delete any of my posts. Accept your fetish like your cousin does.

* * *

**Q:**

Kintarou Tooyama

Zaizeeeen~ I want to meet Koshimae… I want to play against him! PLEASE BRING BACK KOSHIMAE!

**A:**

You think I kidnapped him? He's in America! Geez… why people recent days like to activate caps lock key?

* * *

**Q:**

Kintarou Tooyama

BTW… I'm hungry, Zaizen. Treat me takoyaki~

**A:**

Nah, Shirashi-buchou just got buckets of money and is about to have lunch. Ask him, kay?

* * *

**Q:**

Konjiki Koharu

Yuuji-kyun is the most wonderful living creature in this earth I have ever met, and I'm so thankful I found him… I love him so much :3 though sometimes we fight and fuss, but he always be the one who understands me and he's so romantic… I love you, Yuuji-kyun X3

**A:**

*yawns*

* * *

**Q:**

Hitouji Yuuji

I've never imagined that Koharu-chan would be mine. He's so cute, so sweet… despite his jealousy that sometimes drives me crazy… but I believe that he loves me so much that he is jealous when he sees me with someone else, lovely eh? All I want to say is I will always love you, Koharu-chwan :3

**A:**

*sleeps*

* * *

**Q:**

Ishida Gin

...

**A:**

?

* * *

**Q:**

Koishikawa Kenjiro

It ever crosses my mind that I also want to be popular like you guys *sobs* Like Shiraishi with his 'Nn~ ecstasy', Kintarou with his super great delicious whatever, and even Koharu-Yuuji with their humor tennis. What makes me wonder is, they are truly, definitely weird, but they are famous! Or because I am pretty normal so I am invisible?

**A:**

Be patient, Koishikawa-san. Truth does hurt. Tissue?

* * *

**Q:**

Chitose Senri

Zaizen, you must be sorry for not eating Shiraishi's purplish-green fruits with me this afternoon. It's actually so delicious!

**A:**

Chitose-san, you must be sorry for eating that. Didn't you hear buchou's 'lecture' at lunch that it's actually poisoned?

* * *

**It becomes shorter... ._. Shitenhouji's Q&A is the most random one, so far X)**

**The reference of Zaizen's post about Kenya is fanbook 40.5, if I'm not mistaken. Same goes to Yuushi's meganes (chapter 2).**

**And Chitose? He is sent to hospital where he observed his Saiki :P**

**News flash from Author: I probably will be a bit sporadic for the future chapters, so I am very sorry about that. No! Don't throw me tomatoes, money is much better. *gets hit by bricks* But I think I'm not going to be hiatus. Just... a long pause. *grins***

**Okay, so the retardness of Shitenhouji is contagious and I should end this unimportant A/N. Sankyuu and see ya! :D**


	5. Fudoumine

**This chapter is dedicated to Animecat1908, Blood Elf, Chocobaby, ChocoholicAddict22, Coco96, doy . doy, EcstaticPetenshi, iKiohri, InazumaOokami, kanda kaoru, Kzaen, lebunnylub, OwlsFlyHigh, patrengkee, QueenOfHearts27, SheepAreCute, xXRandomnessPrevailsXx, AoVee, Eiji . Kikumaru . Nya, haru . thefab, iris-hime, Michiko-Chii, rebirthreborn, squirtlefan18 and all anonymous readers. If I could find a word more than 'thank you', I'll use it. Too bad I'm too busy (or lazy) to invent one. You guys are too awesome to be true.**

**But. If you think it sucks or is simply unsatisfied, please accept my deepest apology because—**

**Warnings: spams, unfunny jokes, slight spoiler of Shin Tenipuri, OOC because I frankly am not into this school and lack of information I get about them.**

**FYI, Fudoumine surprisingly has connection with Shitenhouji. (Or it is just me who is out-of-date *sighs*)**

**In case you'll be a bit confused and I'm sure you will, there are some features in Ask Zaizen! Q&A box. Readers are able to give a comment about Zaizen's answer, but they cannot put their names. But, their identities can appear on Comment reply, which is a comment for Comment (get it?). Also for Reply, as reply for Comment reply. And if it's unnamed, it's Zaizen. For clearer explanation, just check this blog page out!)**

* * *

**Ask Zaizen!**

_Ask Zaizen! is an application on Zaizen's blog where you can ask anything to him. Type your name and your question, and then he will answer it, well, if he wants to._

I haven't return Inception DVD yet… I think I should extend the due date until they have Harry Potter 7 part 1.

Whatever. I could sneak out to library whenever I want because I'm the Naniwa Tensai *smirks*

* * *

**Fudoumine**

**Q:**

Ishida Tetsu

You seem to forget my brother on Shitenhouji section. Nice blog, anyway.

**A:**

Oh, yeah. Thanks for telling me. Now I have it reposted.

* * *

**Q:**

Sakurai Masaya

Hey, I may not know you and vice versa, but I stumbled upon this site and then recognized you as my school's rival. But whatever. I found this girl amazing when I was in library, looking for History book. She is pretty smart and fast, I mean in responding me. It's like we're connected to each other. We were talking about World War, and then I asked her for tonkotsu ramen. Guess what? She rejected me! I thought she feel the same way too, for we chatted as if we have known for years. So, why did she deny my invitation? Thanks for answering.

**A:**

Are you stupid or what? She just doesn't like you. Period.

* * *

**Q:**

Kyousuke Uchimura

Oi! What did you do to Masaya, hah? Don't you know who I am, bastard? The Front Killer! Don't mess with me and my friends or else you're dead!

**A:**

Who cares? Who do you think you are? Shinigami? Get lost or I'll tell the world what's inside your hat.

Comment:

Okay… easy, dude!

* * *

**Q:**

Ibu Shinji

I still don't get it about why it must be freshmen like Echizen Ryoma and Tooyama Kintarou who won the match against me but if only I got that damn grip tape I am sure I am the one who was the champion because he got that equipment and that was why he could play well except that I succeeded to injure his eye which means Seigaku was not supposed to go to Nationals and be the number one in Japan because in fact they are not that stronger than me or Akira or even Tachibana-buchou because it is just annoying to find myself being beaten by a little rascal and his smirk makes me want to punch him in the face so he cannot play tennis anymore because of broken head but if I think it again it is similar with what Kirihara did to buchou so what should I do because I don't want to be a rude person like him although he can achieve Angel Mode but it sounds nonsense to me but buchou also have injured Chitose-san's eyes so I am confused who is right and who is wrong

**A:**

Anyone knows how to put captcha? I just realize that spam does suck.

* * *

**Q:**

Kamio Akira

Please please please tell me honestly! Based on your observation, do you think An likes me? Please! So I don't have to worry about Momoshiro or Atobe or Kirihara! Thank you so much!1

**A:**

My lab teacher never gives me a task to observe you two and I don't think the doomsday will come sooner if I don't do it. And it is me being honest.

Comment:

That's it? You're useless, Zaizen!

_Comment reply:_

(Tachibana Kippei)

Kamio, come to my house RIGHT NOW. I want an explanation.

_Reply:_

(Kamio Akira)

Hai, buchou!1!

_Reply:_

Case closed.

* * *

**Q:**

Tachibana Kippei

Err… should I change my hair color again? Whaddayathink? Me looks better in black, blond, or… maybe blue? Need your advice ASAP. Thank you (please don't let Chitose read this, okay?) Oh, and tell Kamio to give up on my sister. Thanks again.

**A:**

Chitose-san said try pink or neon green, because brown is too common in 2011. He also asked you to go to salon together next Saturday. Text him if you want to join (please don't blame me, he is right next to me now).

Comment:

Haha! Buchou wants to dye his hair again! LFMAO! By: Akira Cool

_Comment reply:_

(Tachibana Kippei)

Kamio, 20 laps.

_Reply:_

(Kamio Akira)

WHOAAAA!11

_Reply:_

Urgently need a co-owner of this blog to filter junks. Interested? Just PM me. Thanx.

* * *

**Q:**

Tachibana An

Hi. I read your blog and it is interesting. You have talent in writing, I guess. These posts have been entertaining and also this Q&A! You're genius! :D Well, I just want to give you suggestions: what if you also add kiriban to your blog and let us—the readers and subscribers—catch it so one of us who is lucky will get something from you, like maybe a post about her/him or a song cover? Because personally I want to have 'Baby I'm Yours' cover… I think that would be cool if you make it thank you for the attention! Pardon my ramble'

**A:**

You're welcome. That's a cool idea, I will think about it later :)

Comment:

Zaizen you cheater! Wow, An, do you like that song, too? It's sweet, right? x3

_Comment reply:_

(Tachibana Kippei)

200 LAPS!

_Reply:_

HOW I PUT THAT GODDAMN CAPTCHAAAAA? RAWRRR

* * *

**Q:**

Mori Tatsunori

Is the recruitment still open? I want to apply. But pay me soba or curry udon in return hehe.

**A:**

GREAT! You start working by now!

* * *

**Tetsu's ques: MY BAD T_T**

**Baby I'm Yours is Arctic Monkeys' song. I SO LOVE THIS BAND. And I believe Zaizen does too! British indie rock DOES rock \m/**

**I did some researches for this chap. This was seriously difficult at first since I don't know much about Fudoumine unlike I remember everything about Rikkai or Seigaku. But for the sake of the readers of this fic, I did my best! and then I found that Fudoumine is fun :D They have to be more exposed (the craziness, I mean). I used to consider them as 'the normal one' if it's not the harsh one (because Higa is harsher), now I'll change that and prove you that Fudoumine is also can be included in crackfic.**

**Somehow, I like to see Zaizen frustrating haha xD you need a lesson sometimes, brat.**

**I really hope you enjoy this. I never felt this hard to keep them in-character, sooo review? :3 thanks a lot!111!11!1! :P**


	6. Rokkaku

**Disclaimer: Konomi Takeshi, who got 9****th**** place of highest tax payer in Japan in 2002**

**I found my brother was searching for how to make captcha by PHP. If any of you is curious of how Mori Tatsunori works on Zaizen's blog, PM me :D**

**Well, if you even bother to do such a wasting-time thing.**

**Again, thanks for supporting Ask Zaizen! ;_;**

* * *

**Ask Zaizen!**

_Ask Zaizen! is an application on Zaizen's blog where you can ask anything to him. Type your name and your question, and then he will answer it, well, if he wants to._

Introducing the co-owner of Ask Zaizen application on Zaizen's Blog, Mori Tatsunori. Click the name to see his facebook profile.

And catch my 111111 kiriban! Go to HOME for further info.

* * *

**Rokkaku**

**Q:**

Saeki Kojirou

I have some secret info about Fuji Shusuke. If you want, go to Chiba and dive the sea, then collect the rare pearls and sell it to the electronic seller at Akihabara… joke. Just wanna say please pray for our country and spread #PrayForJapan throughout the world. There are still many people waiting for help, don't just lazy around and sitting before your computer to tweet unimportant status or play game online. Thanks for your attention ^_^

**A:**

#PrayForJapan New Prince of Tennis is still continuing, isn't it, Konomi-sensei? I hope he will give me more chance to show. Watch me play, the genius from Kansai! Ha! :D

Comment:

Saa… you're so mean, Kojirou. Pray for Japan too 0:)

_Comment reply:_

(Ootori Choutarou)

Saeki-san, that's so true *clicks the like button* let's pray and do the best for Japan and the world, may God always bless us. If you're not busy, next Sunday we are going to have charity event at Hyoutei, of course sponsored by Atobe Corporation. I await your participation, Saeki-san, and you all!

_Reply:_

(Saeki Kojirou)

That'll be fun :D Thank you for inviting me, Ootori. I'll tell the others to join, too.

Reply:

(Kikumaru Eiji)

Hoi, what's true, Ootori? Is it the whole Fuji's secret thing and dive the Pacific Sea? O.o

_Reply:_

(Fuji Shusuke)

Kikumaru, you should do your homework, shouldn't you? :)

_Reply:_

(Kikumaru Eiji)

*shivers* nya, Fuji-Fuji!

_Reply:_

(Konomi Takeshi)

That Zaizen, what a confidence -_- who says I'm going to put you on the next chapter, hey?

**Q:**

* * *

Amane Hikaru

We have same first name, Hikaru. But your face looks more like a kangaroo. Pfftt

**A:**

Bane-san, can you help me?

* * *

**Q:**

Kurobane Harukaze

Leave it to me, Zaizen *kicks his head*

**A:**

…okay, thanks.

* * *

**Q:**

Itsuki Marehiko

Oh my! Thank God you're here! Well, I can ask you anything, right? Because there are lots of things I want to ask about! First, why are the shapes of shell different to each other? Then, what is the value of speed of sneeze? Next, which one is biggest, Russia or China? And when did Newton discover the gravity? Thank youuu! :DD

**A:**

Answer: http www . google . com

* * *

**Q:**

Kisarazu Ryou

What do you do if somehow you miss your brother but you can't tell him directly because it's just decreasing your man's pride?

**A:**

*shouts* Atsushi, your brother misses you.

_Comment:_

Can't you just phone me instead, Ryou? Geez, you aren't changed at all.

_Comment reply:_

(Kisarazu Ryou)

Have you finished with your supper, Atsushi? Mom will get mad if you still don't want to eat those veggies.

_Reply:_

Oi! This is not reunion site! Doesn't the captcha work?

* * *

**Q:**

Aoi Kentarou

Hey Zaizen-kun! Nice to meet you. Well, actually I'm here not to ask for advice or such, but I want to give you some suggestion in order to achieve your goal! I've heard that you rarely got position to play even though you are the regular. I think you should say to yourself with conditional sentence, like me! Trust me, it works! :D

**A:**

Hey, Aoi. Not nice to meet you. As for a highly motivated person, why don't you just tell yourself that if you can't get the fuck outta here, you'll be perished in an instant?

Comment:

Relax, Zaizen, he didn't mean to hurt you. Okay, next time I'll tell coach Osamu to put you more often. I promise.

_Comment reply:_

(Osamu Watanabe)

What's with you, Zaizen? You look funny! Hehehe

_Reply:_

Shit happens.

_Reply:_

(Oshitari Kenya)

Hey hey, what's happening?

_Reply:_

(Koishikawa Kenjirou)

He just experienced mood swing, I guess.

_Reply:_

(Konjiki Koharu)

Nyawww… Zaizen-kun is PMS-ing, right? :3 Cute! xD

_Reply:_

(Ishida Gin)

Zaizen, you got period? How come?

_Reply:_

(Amane Hikaru)

A Naniwa punk is sensitive and sick because he is secretly a chick. Pffttt

_Reply:_

(Shiraishi Kuranosuke)

Ecstasy~! Why the heck it becomes OOT? Zaizen, are you alright now? Try to take a cup of oolong tea, it's good for health

_Reply:_

(Kurobane Harukaze)

Excuse me *kicks Davide, drags him to trash bin* Sorry for any inconvenience.

_Reply:_

(Chitose Senri)

Seven minutes… that's the time it will take to get over our argument…

_Reply:_

(Yanagi Renji)

No, I think the possibility of to end this quarrel in less than five minutes is 78%

_Reply:_

Dayummm humans now can be as annoying as bot… the captcha is useless orz HEY I DON'T MENSTRUATE! YOU ALL CRAZY BASTARD! MIND YOUR EFFIN BUSINESS!

_Reply:_

(Oshitari Kenya)

Zaizen, err… you are too… *sweatdrops*

_Reply:_

(Kawamura Takashi)

BURRRNNNIIINNNGGG BABY!

_Reply:_

(Ishida Gin)

…why do you suddenly appear…?

* * *

**Q:**

Shudou Satoshi

Can you hack Inui's notebook? I want that guy knows how tired to be poison taster. GIMME AMERICA'S FABLED TURKEY FLAVORED SODA!

**A:**

Iwashi Water could change one's mentality, people. Watch out.

Comment:

Fufu… I can make the soda for you, Shudou *glinted glasses*

_Comment Reply:_

(Shudou Satoshi)

NO, THANKS!

* * *

**Back to randomness! 8D**

**Sorry for the long wait. Yesssh, I heart Google XD and since I put the site often in this fic, I also want to disclaim that Google is not mine (of course *hits head*)**

**I couldn't avoid making spams here, thus, I officially epic failed. but if they entertained you, I will… get reviews? :D **

**(To me, Aoi's way to thrive on setting condition for himself is hard to do, but I do believe in the power of under pressure =w=)**


	7. St Rudolph

**To Anonymous and anonymousanonymousXDD: thanks for reviewing! I LOVE YOUR FANFIC OF FANFIC OR WHATEVER YOU CALL IT. It's awesome and funny! XD thanks a bunch! I feel warm inside… I thank you also for cheering up my day with your feedbacks x)**

**This semester was dull for me, and I have struggle many obstacles especially in my study. It was boring yet frustrating. However, I want to continue Ask Zaizen in chill so I wait until I have the right time. Big sorry if the time is months later since the last update OTL**

**Despite the lateness, hope you'll enjoy this *smiles***

* * *

**Ask Zaizen!**

_Ask Zaizen! is an application on Zaizen's blog where you can ask anything to him. Type your name and your question, and then he will answer it, well, if he wants to._

I'm craving shiratama right now. Hope women in my house come home quickly from their stupid shopping spree and buy me some of them… really starving to death.

AND I AM A MAN! FULL STOP!

* * *

**St. Rudolph**

**Q:**

Fuji Yuuta

Hey, Zaizen. Do you know the cheat code for level 5-2? The Big Boss is freakishly fast, I want to skip that part. By the way, I have found the shortcut to secret passage 3 that brings you to loaded armor and medicine. Next time we duel again, treat me pumpkin curry if I win! (And if we meet again at some events or game center :D)

**A:**

Hey, Fuji. If I'm not mistaken we can't go away from Big Boss, but I know some code to weaken its defense; I'll send it later to you. There is a tip; you have to hit the vital part, the black circle in his head. But next time make sure that your aniki isn't around and creep me out as if I am a kidnapper.

* * *

**Q**

Kaneda Ichirou

I have won against the well-known Golden Pair and broke their renowned Australian Formation with Akazawa-senpai. Do you think I can defeat Fuji Shusuke-Kikumaru Eiji (Dream Pair) too? It will be nice to play with that Seigaku's prodigy.

**A:**

You're wrong. It will never be nice to play with him unless you use his little brother to blackmail him. But I don't recommend it. It's too risky for beginner, so just keep that thought. They are called Dream Pair for a reason—it is only occurred in your dream.

Comment:

Aww, Eiji. Someone praises us ^^

* * *

**Q:**

Yanagisawa Sinya

If Yuuta is my oototo, so Fuji Shusuke is my sibling, isn't it, dane? That's so cool, dane! :DD but who is the oldest, Fuji-kun or me, dane?

**A:**

Fuji Yumiko, not dane.

Comment:

True ^^

_Comment reply:_

(Fuji Yuuta)

Yanagisawa-senpai! Aniki, you're there, aren't you?

_Reply:_

(Fuji Shusuke)

Yuuta, you're the best. Sorry Yanagisawa-san, but the only one who deserves to be Yuuta's brother is me :)

_Reply:_

(Yanagisawa Shinya)

Gomenasai, Fuji-kun! I'm just kidding, dane! Just taunt him a little, dane…

_Reply:_

(Fuji Yuuta)

Aniki, I am fine. Don't be harsh to my senpai T.T

_Reply:_

(Fuji Shusuke)

All right, Yuuta. Anything you want :)

_Reply:_

(Ooishi Syuuichiro)

Even Fuji's smile emoticon looks demonic…

* * *

**Q:**

Kisarazu Atsushi

I somehow miss my long hair and see that Fuji Shusuke's haircut may suit me. What do you think? Need a suggestion, thanks. And oh, it doesn't mean I miss my twin, too T_T

**A:**

*shouts* Ryou, your brother misses you.

Comment:

But my hair isn't as long as yours used to be ^^

* * *

**Q:**

Akazawa Yoshirou

I really wonder how Fuji Shusuke can be that strong with slender body. He looks never go to the gym but he got the power o.O

**A:**

Then you just have seen mutant in real life.

Comment:

Saaa… Akazawa. I sometimes exercise but I practice yoga more maybe we can hang out together? How about diving? Zaizen, you are amazing for recognizing my Z chromosome :)

_Comment reply:_

(Akazawa Yoshirou)

I probably shouldn't have asked *sighs*

_Reply:_

(Tezuka Kunimitsu)

Don't let your guard down, Akazawa.

_Reply:_

(Osakada Tomoka)

Yudan sezu ni ikou!

_Reply:_

(Atobe Keigo)

Katsu no wa Hyoutei!

_Reply:_

(Shishido Ryou)

Geki dasa daze!

_Reply:_

(Sanada Genichirou)

TARUNDORU!*!\dvblrtejhtregfbkawu

_Reply:_

(Reader)

-_-"

* * *

**Q:**

Nomura Takuya

Why do people seem to remember Fuji Shusuke's birthday which only appears one time in four years while mine is just a day before his?

**A:**

I'm not sure people even know your existence, though.

Comment:

*pats your back* :)

* * *

**Q:**

Mizuki Hajime

I need to clarify to you all PoT fans that I do NOT have any flaws in Fuji Shusuke's data. Konomi Takeshi is the one who made a mistake in drawing the panels! Fuji, I'll be awaiting you for a match! Nfu.

**A:**

Holy smoke! Everyone, this is Ask Zaizen, not Ask Fuji!

Comment:

Wow, so they ask about me here? St. Rudolph boys are so adorable… :3 especially Yuuta dearest ^^

_Comment reply:_

(Mizuki Hajime)

FINALLY YOU CONSIDER ME, FUJI! THANK GOD *prays* let's have a match!

_Reply:_

(Fuji Shusuke)

Uh? No one's replying? :/

_Reply:_

(Mizuki Hajime)

IT'S ME! MANAGER OF ST. RUDOLPH TENNIS CLUB, MIZUKI HAJIME! YOUR BIGGEST FAN—I MEAN, RIVAL!

_Reply:_

(Hiyoshi Wakashi)

HAPPY CAPSLOCK DAY!

_Reply:_

(Kuwahara Jackal)

It's already over, isn't it?

_Reply:_

(Hiyoshi Wakashi)

Yes, just wanna exclaim it randomly. I know the feeling of being ignored, Mizuki-san. I feel your pain.

_Reply:_

(Kuwahara Jackal)

me too. It sucks. Zaizen, you are also often abandoned, right? How about we make a group on facebook? So they will know about us and never put us aside…

_Reply:_

(Hiyoshi Wakashi)

That's a brilliant idea. Zaizen, you create the account and design it then invite us to be members. Don't forget to mark it as closed group.

_Reply:_

(Kuwahara Jackal)

Do you think of a good name, Wakashi? Ummm… 'FORGOTTEN RANGERS'?

_Reply:_

(Hiyoshi Wakashi)

Gekokujou. We don't jump in a good pose from flame of explosion. 'The Super Talented but Secretly Hidden Tennis Players'.

_Reply:_

(Kuwahara Jackal)

That sounds awkward. Zaizen, any idea?

_Reply:_

(Hiyoshi Wakashi)

He didn't reply from the start.

_Reply:_

(Oshitari Kenya)

FYI, Zaizen now will never answer spams and unrelated topics, especially ones from 'Reply'. Thanks for your attention *bows*closes curtains*

_Reply:_

Thanks, Kenya-senpai. You are not hetare this time.

_Reply:_

(Oshitari Kenya)

Hiyoshi, Kuwahara, I have a proper name for your group. 'LAME PoT CHARAS'. Zaizen makes the leader and first moderator.

* * *

**The longest chapter so far! :O**

**The game Zaizen and Yuuta talk about is kind of adventure shooting game, I guess…? :P**

**Anyway, hetare means 'clumsy and weak-minded', a special (?) nickname for Kenya from Zaizen, haha.**

**Maybe a question pops in your mind while reading this: Why Fuji? Well, it's because of the next chapter! So, don't miss it and make sure you still follow this story *inserts Fuji's evil emot***

**Thank you and Mata na! :D**


	8. Josei Shounan

**Okay, actually there is no correlation between Fuji and this chapter—actually there is, but this is not supposedly related and actually it is a request from TheNumberOneNoffFan but since they only appear in anime, actually—yes, I overuse actually—and I overuse dash also—because I simply am confused to say about this, so—just read it and enjoy (?)**

**You may say that this A/N has been hacked.**

**Then, you've been warned :)**

* * *

**Ask Zaizen! (Hacked Version)**

**Becomes**

**Ask Fuji!**

_Ask Zaizen! is an application on Zaizen's blog where you can ask anything to him. Type your name and your question, and then he will answer it, well, if he is here. It's a different case if another tensai takes it over and answers it unexpectedly, doesn't it? :)_

* * *

**Josei Shounan**

**Q:**

Kajimoto Takahisa

Well… Nice to meet you? I don't know you but I hear your school team is pretty good. Semifinalist, isn't it?

**A:**

Semifinalist? We are the winner ^^

* * *

**Q:**

Wakato Hiroshi

Come to think of it; Rikkai's Yukimura is admired by people, Saeki from Rokkaku is also popular among girls and no one doubts that Atobe has the largest fan base in Japan. But why in the world is my fans club not exposed in media? I am handsome like them, even, more. At least publish something good from Josei Shounan, I request…?

**A:**

You missed one thing: don't you know that there is one person who is more handsome and famous before Atobe Keigo even appeared in manga? Yes, Fuji Shusuke. As long as he lives, you are buried figuratively because Fuji wins over you in every aspect ^^

* * *

**Q:**

Shinjou Reiji

Josei Shounan and Midoriyama exist in both anime and manga. Remember that.

**A:**

But Seigaku is the main school ^^

* * *

**Q:**

Tanaka Youhei

Who looks more like a girl? Kouhei or me?

**A:**

Have you ever met Fuji Shusuke? Isn't he beautiful? :)

* * *

**Q:**

Tanaka Kouhei

Say, Youhei looks more like a girl than me!

**A:**

i.d.e.m. no one's prettier than him :)

* * *

**Q:**

Oota Shou

Hmmmmmmmmmm

**A:**

What's wrong? You don't have to think harder to prove that I am genius :)

* * *

**Q:**

Kiriyama Daichi

I don't know the person who made this blog, but looking back at previous schools, this is not Zaizen speaking, am I right? Why do you do this?

**A:**

Hahaha, like you see in the title, this is not Zaizen. Yes, I hack it, but not because Yuuta spent his weekend to play games with him once we go to Osaka for holiday (okay, it is, a bit). The whole thing about St. Rudolph's regulars asked about me is also out of my intention, but from it I got the idea. I want to pretend for once in my life as Zaizen, with his snarkiness and boasting. But I guess I fail ^^

I just want to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY to you, Zaizen Hikaru, despite our ages that seem not to change from time to time even though we're considered grown up (eh?). Wish you all the best, hope you will make a good captain for your team in the future (perhaps you will be elected again as a buchou ;D), be a better person, be mature but keep your straightforwardness because it's your trademark and your fans especially readers of this fanfic love that attitude of yours :)

And you can replace your colorful piercings with the one-colored ones I think a rock star doesn't wear anything distracting, does he? :)

Fuji Shusuke

P.S.: Again, sorry for hacking Please don't be mad, okay?

P.P.S.: I didn't do something harmful here, don't worry :)

Comment:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ZAIZEN! (SHITENHOUJI'S REGULARS)

_Comment reply:_

(Zaizen Hikaru)

Can't say anything asdfghjkl

* * *

_THIS WEBSITE IS UNDER CONSTRUCTION. SORRY FOR ANY INCONVENIENCE._

_-ZAIZEN HIKARU, the REAL admin and owner of Ask Zaizen!._

* * *

***kicks my alter ego out* go away, you brain hacker!**

**This may be not my best present for Zaizen, and the idea of inserting Fuji here is not errr… succeeded? *smashes head with watermelon* yeah… I want to make something different in Zaizen's birthday fic this year, so here it is.**

**Really appreciate your feedback ^^**

**Tanjoubi omedetto, Zaizen-kun!**


	9. Higa

**Another randomness about tennis, movies, teens' identity seeking and hidden scandal. Fine, not really.**

**I'm currently addicted to All Time Low, too late *sighs* someday I'll (impossibly) marry Zack Merrick and (possibly) continue Ask Zaizen! until the end, I promise.**

**More room for The Harsh—Hilarious Higa :O Sorry for any OOCness thus the characters are not mine.**

* * *

**Ask Zaizen!**

_Ask Zaizen! is an application on Zaizen's blog where you can ask anything to him. Type your name and your question, and then he will answer it, well, if he wants to._

I am back. Thanks for the present, Fuji-san. I appreciate it (sarcasm intended). And also for my teammates; thanks for your stupidity—my mom really thought I ran naked at my birthday. Whoever did the call, I will make it even.

Still waiting for the 111111st visitor.

* * *

**Higa**

**Q:**

Kite Eishirou

Higa is the best and will win all matches, no matter how. Because I'm The Hitman.

**A:**

Yeah… so much for Agent 47 who listens to Schubert.

Comment:

So Kite's secretly bald? Does your wig come from the same shop as Atobe's?

_Comment reply:_

(Atobe Keigo)

Ore-sama bought it in Paris. Special by request. 482 laps, Oshitari.

* * *

**Q:**

Kai Yuujirou

Aragaki is so good at making cookies, don't you know that? XD Girly, much?

**A:**

Your hair is long and wavy. Sissy, much?

* * *

**Q:**

Aragaki Kouichi

TAKE THAT, KAI. *throws high heels*

**A:**

At least he's right. You're girly.

* * *

**Q:**

Tanishi Kei

Bring it on, baby!

**A:**

Sorry, I'm straight.

Comment:

And what if you're not? x}

_Comment reply:_

I know you're some creepy rabid fangirls from FFnet. GTFO will you?

* * *

**Q:**

Chinen Hiroshi

Sea slug shampoo, everyone? Maybe with some gouya…?

**A:**

No wonder you got few friends.

Comment:

Finally someone understands why I'm bad with him. [Shiranui Tomoya]

* * *

**Q:**

Hirakoba Rin

Hey guys, follow me on twitter RinHirakoba. I'll follow you back. Thanks

**A:**

Done

Comment:

Thanks, Zaizen.

_Comment reply:_

(Oshitari Kenya)

Hey! Check out my account too! nospeednolife. Sankyuu!

_Reply:_

(Akutagawa Jirou)

Me too me too! pocky_Jirou1 mention for folback! :D

_Reply:_

(Tooyama Kintarou)

Nee, Zaizen… what is twitter? Why do I not have one?

_Reply:_

(Mukahi Gakuto)

It's a pixie blog… kinda social media I guess. Follow me Gackt_uto :)

_Reply:_

(Oshitari Yuushi)

SexyYuushi

_Reply:_

(Konjiki Koharu)

Twitter is a bird, Kin-chan. And you sure have a bird if you're a man *winks*

_Reply:_

(Shiraishi Kuranosuke)

Kin-chan, you'd better go to bed, it's already late. Koharu, 50 laps plus cleaning clubroom's toilet for contaminating Kintarou. Follow perfectecstasy

_Reply:_

(Sanada Genichirou)

SanadaTheLoser

_Reply:_

(Marui Bunta)

Sanada you got twitter? How come? O.o

_Reply:_

(Sanada Genichirou)

IT'S SANADATHEEMPEROR! NIOU, 1000 LAPS! AND I CAN TYPE!

_Reply:_

AND THIS BLOG IS NOT ADS SITE. When the hell can I have a peaceful chapter without spams, GEEZ?

_Reply:_

(Inui Sadaharu)

Well, there is 98.46% chance for unwanted comments appeared unless you deactivate the Reply. Anyway, for free tennis data follow DrSadaharu and Renji ProfRenji. Congratulations, Sanada. Finally you pass ICT class.

_Reply:_

_This comment has been disabled._

* * *

**Q:**

Shiranui Tomoya

Do you have another activity beside tennis? Just wonder, because you seem like one of rare people who appreciate time… and money.

**A:**

Particularly music, street dance and borrow DVDs and music mags from library. I also do babysit, sometimes with my nephew, sometimes with Kin-chan or Kenya-san. Yeah, that.

Comment:

_This comment has been disabled._

_Comment reply:_

_This comment has been disabled._

* * *

**It's been about four months after Zaizen's birthday as well as the latest post. Not that I planned to do that though, it's just… happened. Hope you don't lose interest with this fanfic. Your support keeps me alive till this far. Thank youuu *hugs and kisses***

**For that reason, I want to give you a present! There will be a special chapter contained questions FROM THE READERS! Ask Zaizen ANYTHING and the selected ones will be appeared after two updates. Just drop them on review and I'll see how you torture this cutie-badass kouhai ;)**

**What will the next chapter be? Coming soon (hopefully)!**


	10. Coaches and Cameos

***nomnomnom Marui's cake***

**Yosh, this is the 'special' chapter. Well, it's actually because this may be the last chapter with PoT characters, so please (again) bear with the delay due to gathering the characters and insisting them to participate. After all, Zaizen will cheer them up and listen to them, won't he?**

**Then, beware of some typical warnings on crackfic—too lazy to type it down :P**

**Aaaand, here it is! Boo-yah.**

* * *

**Ask Zaizen!**

_Ask Zaizen! is an application on Zaizen's blog where you can ask anything to him. Type your name and your question, and then he will answer it, well, if he wants to._

It took me by surprise to see older people also subscribe my blog—I don't know whether I should ban them or just thank them. Where is the liberty of internet, then? I have had enough for SOPA/PIPA/whatsoever.

However, I'm just a mere awesome prodigy student who writes.

* * *

**Coaches and Cameos**

**Q:**

Sakaki Tarou

As a music teacher, I am bothered with some deviation of melody in rock genre. Music is about beauty and ultimate quality, not trash noises. You'd better understand it, Zaizen Hikaru. Make a better band.

**A:**

Thank you for coming to our street concert, sir. I hope you enjoyed it. Regards, soon-to-rock-the-world Zaizen Hikaru and the band.

* * *

**Q:**

Ryuuzaki Sumire

YYYEEEAAAHHH! I caught the kiriban! I CAUGHT ZAIZEN'S BLOG KIRIBAN! *dances boogie woogie* Sooo can you pay the bills on Yakiniku restaurant when the battle was held? YOU and your friends were the ones with responsibility, not me! Or if you don't want to… you can date with me as a substitute. I know a sophisticated restaurant in Osaka *winks winks*

**A:**

Oh! Big sorry, Ryuuzaki-san. There must be a fatal mistake. I checked out the counter last night, it didn't work. So I replaced it and made a new one, and reset it. Again, I'm deeply sorry. Thanks for visiting.

* * *

**Q:**

Shiba Saori

Hey, Zaizen! You are one of my favorites and I instantly became your fan even before you play! You are so cute, don't you know that? XD I feel like hugging you every time you scowl LOL. But truly, you are awesome and with your appearance plus attitude you get a strong fan base. You're so good on photos too, but I'm not saying you're photogenic. Whatever. Off the court, I still love you Just saying, kthxbye!

**A:**

Bye.

* * *

**Q:**

Saotome Harumi

Gah.

**A:**

Hag. (I just spelled it backwards)

* * *

**Q:**

Hanamura Aoi

Want to make money while cooking, baby sitting, or enjoying your vacation? You can do it through internet! It's easy and I have proved it! Go to http instantlyrich . net just one click away!

**A:**

I guess this is the secret of why Josei Shounan has a luxury gym in their clubhouse. Oi, Mori. Upgrade the captcha.

* * *

**Q:**

Liliadent Krauser

Who's that guy on the video who twirled his pen so fast? He must have no life.

**A:**

Nice to see you are not the one, huh? I'm glad to help.

* * *

**Q:**

Oji

Why are you bald…?

**A:**

Seriously, who typed this?

* * *

**Q:**

Kevin Smith

So, you know Echizen Ryoma? You're Japanese and joined tennis competition with him, right? I read your post about Seigaku Facts and it was damn funny! That brat was SUPPOSED to lose, anyhow. Hell yeah, I agree a hundred and one percent with you! Thanks for making my day.

**A:**

Yeah, and Shitenhouji was SUPPOSED to win. Read this, people, America supports us no less. You see how unfair life is to supporting characters.

* * *

**Q:**

Arai Masashi

Y U NO on the bench and give the spotlight to me? You show some sick love to unpopular school but no to le student of the lead role school? One Echizen is enough, dafuq!

**A:**

Because a useless additional loser is too mainstream and one cannot simply walk into regular team.

* * *

**Q:**

Banda Mikiya

Hello, Zaizen. What if you transfer to Yamabuki? I promise you a good place in regulars Just joking, Watanabe!

**A:**

Hi, Banji-san. That's very kind of you; with my pleasure, I'd love to join. Just kidding, kantoku!

* * *

**Q:**

Karupin

Meow

**A:**

So, this is when you give a cell phone to a cat.

* * *

**Q:**

Meino Nanako

Excuse me, I'm Nanako, Echizen's cousin. Do you know where Karupin goes? He seemingly took my cell phone.

**A:**

So, why don't you just call?

* * *

**Q:**

Miyuki Chitose

Hello, Zaizen nii-chan! It's me, Miyuki! Do you still remember me? Sen nii-chan told me that you will answer any questions, because I have something to ask. Mmm… do you know who Thief nii-chan's future wife is? But promise me don't tell anyone, okay? Thanks! ^_^

**A:**

Hi, yes I remember you. But your brother forgets to tell you that I am a blogger, not a fortune-teller, and that your question appears publicly, not hidden. You're welcome.

* * *

**Q:**

Echizen Nanjiro

Aaa~ your site is not entertaining. It's all plain. Put some pics, then…

**A:**

With all my respect, Echizen-san, this is a blog. Not a porn site.

* * *

**Q:**

Inoue Mamoru

Wow, I just knew that you own this cool blog! You know what? You can make a rubric of Ask Zaizen! on Gekkan Pro Tennis magazine. I'm positive readers will love it because you have your own writing signature. I'll send you e-mail for further info.

**A:**

Got your e-mail. I'll check it out, but need some time to consider about it. Thank you for the offer, Inoue-san.

* * *

**Zaizen is still waiting for your queries, go ask him anything! You can ask him to be your nijikon boyfriend, or to cook you dinner, or to sing you a love song before you sleep. Wait, that's my imagination.**

**Anyway. The break after the last update somehow faded the conditioning of PoT universe in my mind. Perhaps it was just my brain's capacity, or that I was focused more to other things. Also for Tenipuri Omegle, since I haven't been to the site for oh-so-long.**

**Your supports do help me so much. I can't stop thanking all the reviewers, subscribers, and those who put Ask Zaizen! on their favorite stories. I'll do my best to finish it.**

**Hona mata xD**


	11. Readers

**It's a bit weird; I feel happy and sad at the same time. Happy, because this series finally comes to an end, and sad because it... finally comes to an end. Haha. Kinda cheesy, isn't it? :P  
**

**Thank you for those who participate in this little game. It's beyond my expectation :D Some are already entertaining, some are predictable yet tricky :O I hope you enjoy the answers as much as I enjoy your questions.  
**

**I also want to sincerely apologize for the so damn long update, for being such a slacker till it takes almost two years to finish this. But I'm glad it's finally finished. I'm also sad it has to be over (alright I'm stop here).  
**

* * *

**Ask Zaizen!**

_Ask Zaizen! is an application on Zaizen's blog where you can ask anything to him. Type your name and your question, and then he will answer it, well, if he wants to._

So, Gekkan Pro Tennis Magazine contacted me to write a rubric, print-out version of this Q&A blog. I received like a mountain of letter (seriously, it's flooding from the mailbox) but I picked some randomly to answer. You gotta feel lucky to find yours here.

As seen on Gekkan Pro Mag July edition.

* * *

**Readers**

**Q:**

crislisyaoran 

Are you happy to be a part of Shitenhouji's tennis team, to be with all of your nice/weird teammates? :)

**A:**

If I'm not, I'd have killed them all or refused to join from the start. As you know, they're still alive now.

* * *

**Q:**

Zaizennn 

Btw, Zaizen. Why did you get so many piercings? How come 3 on the left and 2 on the right? And is it true that there's one on your tongue.

**A:**

Because I got money. Isn't it obvious enough?

* * *

**Q:**

123shala 

What do you think of Echizen Ryoma?

**A:**

What is it, a rare species of turkey or something?

* * *

**Q:**

Sakoori Sakura Koori Kobayashi 

How come all the buchou's of every team have different personalities?

**A:**

Different, you say? They all look the same to me. Ambitious, concrete-headed, sometimes beyond stupid. For more analysis, go read my post about them. You'll be surprised.

* * *

**Q:**

EcstaticPetenshi 

Three-sizes, please? ;)

**A:**

All of my sizes are 'awesome', so it's undefined.

* * *

**Q:**

Kentastic72

What do you think of your senpais, The Baka Couple? Do you despise them, or are you jealous of Koharu and Yuji's love?

**A:**

Well, actually I don't give it a damn.

* * *

**Q:**

doy . doy**  
**

Between Yukimura and Sanada, which of the two would be top? I'm sure the rest of the Rikkai regulars would be curious too... especially Niou. Yes, Niou is very curious. Akaya, on the other hand, is too innocent to know what that means...

**A:**

Rhetoric. That trickster must be confused of his position himself so he diverts everyone's attention.

* * *

**Q:**

xXRandomnessPrevailsXx 

Zaizen-san/-kun/what-have-you:

Do you have a most hated classic lit. piece? What is it and why? (Mine personally is Romeo and Juliet... because Romeo's whiny, Juliet has no opinion of her own, and they get married and die within about 4 days after they meet.)

**A:**

I hate the subject, how the heck can I remember what the teacher said?

* * *

**Q:**

tsuki-shinigami

What is your ideal girl? As in looks and personality. Thx!

BabyTsu

What type of girls do you like..?

**A:**

If my memory serves well, I have answered it on fanbook. But because I'm a nice person I'll tell you again. I like girls who can cook and do household things, kind of family-oriented. But don't force yourself to be her, just be who you truly are.

* * *

**Q:**

Carmz18

Do you play any instrument?

**A:**

Yes.

* * *

**Q:**

albeit . the . dysfuntional

Do you have a fetish like the two Oshitaris? Answer honestly. :P

**A:**

I hope this is the last time someone compares me with the pervert cousins. Let me get this straight; they and I are obviously different breed. End of history.

* * *

**…and no single f*ck was given that day…**

**Please bear with the unsatisfied answers *bows* I'll kick Zaizen later. In the head, I promise.  
**

**This was supposedly posted on his birthday (Geez, it's been a year since the birthday chapter! *shocks*) but it wasn't, so happy belated birthday (again) to the most lovely, adorable, snarky second-year and captain soon-to-be, Zaizen Hikaru. BANZAI! :))  
**

**Massive thanks for reading and reviewing and subscribing and favoriting this story. Again, thanks. I never get bored to say that.  
**


	12. Credit title

If I could, I would go to these pen names' owner houses and give them each a baby dragon. Everyone loves baby dragon.

* * *

**Favoriters:**

123shala

ace1queen

albeit . the . dysfuntional

AoVee

ca99oline

celtic27fionn

Charmainelst

Chocobaby

crislisyaoran

ecstatic endeavor

Eiji . Kikumaru . Nya

Erigay

haru . thefab

ice crystal dragon

Immortalis Cruor Elf

InazumaOokami

iris-hime

iSayumix3

K1mi3Ch4n

kanbikijanai

Kentastic72

Kurai Minoru

kyotolover

Listen2Music

LittleCappuccinoCup

Lone-Wolf-Kai

Lord Monochromicorn

madscissors03

mishaspanties

Mistress Hydrangea

MooNLeSS MiDNiGHT

NighttimeFirefly

patrengkee

Powered By Laughter

PuffyPanda101

Pure . White . Junction

QueenOfHearts27

rinapkc

rosarosa101

Sakoori Sakura Koori Kobayashi

selenaozone

Sleepy Maple

squirtlefan18

Tindersticks

tricksterxgentleman

tsuki-shinigami

Vietmusicfreak

xPurgeOnMUTE

xXRandomnessPrevailsXx

yenwi

yoyocchi

YukiKitsune103

Zaizennn

* * *

**Subscribers:**

123shala

albeit . the . dysfuntional

AnimaniacXOX

celtic27fionn

Charmainelst

Chocobaby

Coco96

E . Ryoko

Erigay

ice crystal dragon

Immortalis Cruor Elf

InazumaOokami

iSayumix3

Kentastic72

Kurai Minoru

lunatarimoon

maegami

mishaspanties

NighttimeFirefly

Oharu chicken

OwlsFlyHigh

patrengkee

PuffyPanda101

QueenOfHearts27

rinapkc

rosarosa101

Sakoori Sakura Koori Kobayashi

selenaozone

tennis'shadow

Tindersticks

tsuki-shinigami

vampiresakuya

XxArisxX

xXRandomnessPrevailsXx

Zaizennn

* * *

**Reviewers:**

Alpha14

Anonymous

anonymousanonymousXDD

BabyTsu

Carmz18

colombiana100

iKiohri

kanda kaoru

koi . no . michi

L.L. of the Rebellion

lebunnylub

rebirthreborn

TheNumberOneNoffFan

Valyruie

VelonicaSushi

all anons who read this fanfiction

_sorry for those whom I missed the names_

* * *

And a box of chocolate. Chocolate is delicious and doesn't make you fat.


End file.
